Janie Jones spurning his advances on the Year 3 school trip had started it all.

“Ewwwww!!” Her button nose wrinkled at his outstretched 7-year-old hand. She collapsed in giggles with Maisie Watkins.

Janie’s scorn accompanied him home that afternoon. Sat watching TV with him. Then, as if ordained by fate, he switched channels and experienced the epiphany that would make Janie Jones take notice.

Ray Toro was shredding solos on ‘I’m Not OK’ and his future was decided. He should have been at Davey’s for tea, but Davey fell off the swings and landed in A&E. So fate stepped in, showed him how to become a playground legend.

That and nicking stuff.

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